“What is the biggest challenge you have with people?”
The top answers were really interesting. They were dealing with betrayal, negative people, people not saying what they mean, and trusting people.
What I noticed about these answers is they all seem to be about other people. But the reason we have these challenges is actually not because of the other person. It’s because we think we can change people. That is so far from the truth!
Here’s what I know:
Many are called to lead, but very few will make the investment to learn how to deal with people. If you are reading this right now, it’s because you are called to step up as a leader in your company, family, or community. We won’t know who the few are until we see the results…
So you saw the top challenges people reported. And here is my answer to that…
Quit trying to change people! You cannot change other people. You can only change how you deal with people. Do not try to change your spouse, your kids, your co-workers, or your clients. Learn how to motivate their strengths and train up their weaknesses without condemnation.
You must begin to honour the people around you. Focus on building them up and creating good, harmonious relationships. Be part of a rare breed of people who are achieving success and wealth while honouring others! This means NOT trying to change people to be what YOU think they should be.
In fact, change starts with you.
The challenges you have with people are not because they can’t communicate or because they are negative. NO! The challenges you have with people are because of the way YOU deal with them. It’s the way you react to them, their issues, and their communication skills.
If you have conflicts with people in your office, family, church, or community, there is only one way that is guaranteed to fix it: Change how you deal with the people around you!
The reality is, people around you often reflect your attitude, your insecurities, and your issues. If you are suspicious, unfriendly, and condescending, you will find those traits all around you. You are a product of your environment.
So let’s go back to those challenges I told you about earlier, and I want to show you what I’m talking about…
Betrayal – Have you betrayed the people around you? Have you followed through and done the things you said you would do? Have you gossiped about them?
Dealing with negative people – Are you positive? Do you let negativity slip out of your mouth? Are you sarcastic, or are you supportive? Do you speak life or death? Do you speak excuses, or do you speak results?
People not saying what they mean – Do you always say what you mean? Do you sugar-coat the truth? Do you exaggerate or stretch the truth? Do you only tell people what they want to hear?
Trusting people – Are you trustworthy? Do people feel that they can trust you? Are you honest?
The point I want to make here is that it’s important to look in the mirror first. You can either blame all of your people problems on the people around you, or you can be one of the few who will step up and make the investment to increase your skills with people. And when you increase your people skills, you decrease your stress, save money, and increase your income.
And that, my friend, is something we could all use! So would you please take just a minute to share this message with the people around you? You can massively increase your influence in your company and community by simply forwarding this blog on to those people around you, co-workers, friends and family even your clients. I challenge you to share this with even just one person and see what an impact this will make. It might be just the thing the person needs to help them see a bigger picture. Until next time I wish you peace, love and success. Martin Acton sensei