To be a strong person does not mean to be rough, tough and in another person’s face. Words have power and they can really hurt and damage sometimes even more than a punch or a kick. So be careful what you say because you can not take the words back. No matter how many times you say sorry! The damage has been done. It may be forgiven but it will not be forgotten. Look back on a time someone hurt you, it may have been 30 years ago, but you can still remember it as if it happened a few hours ago.
A strong person uses his words to inspire the best in others and to motivate them to become even better. The world class leaders use positive, supportive and encouraging words that entice others to do spectacular things they would never have done in their wildest dreams. Look at what Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr. were able to accomplish with the power of their words.
Your words can lift a person into Heaven or put him into the deepest, darkest and terrifying pits of hell.
A person joins an exercise class he has never been to before, The teacher pushes him way past his limitations, shouting negative things to embarrass and insult him.”Push that leg into the wall, tighten this, breath deeply you are too …. stiff, hard, etc. In all my years as a teacher, I have never seen anyone as bad as you!” How would you feel if you were this student? He has paid for the lessons, do you think he will like class and the teacher? When and if he finishes the course do you think he will sign up again for new classes? Why do we abuse other people like this? This way of teaching does not produce positive results it only discourages and crushes the confidence out of a person. Then the teacher puts more pressure on by saying you have mental problems and need therapy. What kind of therapy is not said clearly. So the student falls into an even deeper state of confusion.
Yes be candid and say what you think and feel. But why not say it is a way that will build the person up instead or breaking him down.
A lot of business people talk too negatively. If a person is slow, makes lots of mistakes the leaders quickly judge and say things like “Why are you so stupid? I have been watching you and for twenty minutes you have been standing, looking at the items on this shelf instead of packing the items out. You better start doing a faster better job or I’ll ……… you!” Maybe the person was thinking how he could make the shelf better, to make it easier for people to find a product.
These people think that by talking tough that they will produce big results. Does it work? Maybe for a very short time. But soon the other person will quit, find a way to hide the problem or maybe turn and knock you on your condescending ass.
You will get what you want by speaking encouragingly, positively and patiently. Master communicators understand that it is all in the way you use the language.
Your own words also influence your own state of being as well. They determine how you feel. If you call a challenging situation a “disaster” this will generate a negative emotional response within you, compared to if you say this “splendid“. Your words say more about you than you may realise. You show others how you respond to setbacks optimistically or pessimistically. You are verbalising your beliefs. This drives your behaviour and in turn create all your results.
World class leaders are truly impeccable with the words they use. They don’t gossip, complain or condemn. You will never hear them swear! I listen to some people talk and every other word is f_ _ _ k. World class leaders make their best effort each day to only use words that engage, elevate and inspire, not only the people around them, but also themselves. Refine your vocabulary it can improve your life is so many ways. Using world-class leadership vocabulary will improve your energy level, passion for excellence, and the pace of innovation. Your words have an impact on the others around you. By using world-class vocabulary the whole culture of your organisation improves. Where your words go the energy flows! To become a world class leader you need to develop leadership vocabulary. Until next time I wish you peace, love and success. Martin Acton sensei www.martinactonaikido.com