How should you feel when you go to work? I believe everyone should feel enthusiastic, happy and looking forward to seeing what they can accomplish in the day ahead. We should love the job we choose and give 100% to doing the best work possible. Not because someone demands it from us, but because we want to. The more challenging the conditions, the more marvelous the opportunities. Two wonderful questions that really motivate me is, How can I make today better than yesterday? What small thing can I do for someone to make him / her feel better after they leave me than they felt before meeting me? It can be as simple as a warm smile, a sincere hello. Offering someone a genuine compliment on how he / she is looking today.
Just imagine yourself entering your workplace and as soon as you walk through the doors you brighten the place up with your keen attitude. As soon as your co-workers see you they feel great. They love spending time with you. There is nothing you would not do to help each other. Everyone respects trusts and helps each other. You all feel cared for appreciated and know that by giving the best only good things are coming back to you. If a problem arises, you all work as a team to find the solution. All opinions are listened to, there is no such thing as a stupid question. If you don’t know how to do something you ask and your co-workers show you how to do it, and everyone looks out for one another. You love sharing with your co-workers, how you are going to get the project of the day accomplished together in a fun, relaxed, professional way and on time. Imagine being world class in your job, being in perfect health and having everything you do work successfully. Every day you have the time of your life being with people you love and being astonishingly good with the clients and customers every single day. Who wouldn’t want to work in a place like this you say? Well if so why don’t we work like this? Why are so many people in jobs they hate?
How do you feel about your job? Do you jump out of bed excited, with a feeling like every day is Christmas morning and you can’t get to work fast enough? Or do you get a knot in your stomach when you think of work? Do you think you boss is the greatest person in the world and you would lay down your life for him /her? Or do you wish he / she was dead and that crows would feast on his /her rotting corpse? Are your employee's people you would love to have live in your house as part of your ideal family? Or do you view them as lifeless, good for nothing bloodsuckers who do what they want, when they want, and you have to watch them every second of the day to get the work done?
Learning to deal with negative people is not easy, but it’s really worth the effort! We all have options, you can take responsibility, commit to improving the relationships, and invest in the people. Or you can roll your eyes, tut, and just try and ignore the problem. Negative people bring others down! It rubs off on you and makes you feel frustrated, hopeless and in some cases even depressed. So how can you deal with negative people in a graceful way?
A good place to start is to look at them with compassion. Change the lenses in your glasses and put on the compassion lenses. Look at the negative person with innocence. He / she is suffering, unhappy and very unfulfilled in his/ her life. They aren’t waking up in the morning wanting to be negative, lazy, hopeless, just getting through another day. They just don’t know how to change, how to deal with things, or how to fix things. Their negative behavior stems from a sense of lack, that something is wrong. Don’t take the negativity personally! Put yourself in that person’s shoes and imagine how horrible it feels to be that way.
When two people work together there is only one of two things will happen, the negative person will pull the positive person down, suck the life out of the positive person, leaving him / her drained, or the positive person will inspire the negative person and raise his / her spirits. This is done by remaining enthusiastic, being part of the solution and extending positive energy in all that you do. Instead of focusing on the problem, and how hard it is to be around the negative person, or overanalyzing the problem. Instead focus on what you love about the job, about your life in general and good things you want in the future. This will have a significant effect on the negative people you work with. Even if they don’t change, it will help you to be less adversely affected. When people come to my Aikido dojo I want them to feel more comfortable, relaxed and accepted for who they are, than they do anywhere else. This is something I work hard at. The result is people change, grow and become happy. This is really rewarding for me, to see others develop.
Until next time, I wish you peace, happiness, and success.
Martin Acton sensei